not just a cup.

last summer, i went through the tim horton’s drive thru to order a large black coffee. it was early in the morning, i was on my way to an appointment, and it was a quick stop around the corner from my parents house. i would never argue that tim horton’s is the best cup of coffee that money can buy, but it is oh-so-canadian, and as a result, brings up so many feelings of nostalgia. growing up, i remember my dad buying me a tea biscuit as he enjoyed a coffee and a donut. then, i got through my teenage years on double doubles (ick, so sweet – two creams, two sugars!). having a tim horton’s coffee is almost always my first stop upon landing at the airport in ottawa.

after i placed my order, early on that summer morning, i drove up to the payment window. the lady who was working handed me my coffee, smiled widely, and told me it had been paid for by the person before me. a free coffee! i had heard of this happening! a simple gesture, from a stranger. i was so touched. what a beautiful way to start the day. i resolved that i would do the same thing the next time i went through the drive thru.

a few days later, on my drive up to a friend’s cottage, i pulled up to a tim horton’s, and i knew i had my moment. i drove up to the payment window, and told the tim horton’s worker that i wanted to pay for my coffee, as well as the coffee for the person in the car behind me. i was feeling pretty darn good about myself.

she smiled sheepishly, and said, “i’m not sure you’re going to want to do that“.

puzzled, i asked her why.

“well,” she explained, “they didn’t just order a coffee, they ordered lunch, the total is $22.76.”

now, in the grand scheme of life, how much is $22.76? not much. but what did i do in that moment? did i hand over the money and follow through on my good deed? nope. i panicked. it wasn’t what i expected! i got flustered, mumbled “never mind“, paid for my coffee and i kept driving.

for the rest of the drive i felt so silly. why didn’t i just spend the 20 bucks? imagine how it would have made that family feel… to have their whole lunch paid for? i honestly can’t explain the hesitation, as i certainly could have afforded to pay. i think i was just so thrown off. and then i missed my opportunity when it was right in front of me.

**********

last weekend, a friend shared a blog post with suggestions for how to include grieving mothers on mother’s day. one of the ideas was to do something kind in the name of their child. my saturday morning bangkok routine is to go to yoga and then stop for an almond milk latte at my favorite little hole-in-the-wall coffee shop. so, on mother’s day, i decided to pay it forward.

i walked up to the barista, who spoke limited english, ordered my latte and explained that i also wanted to pay for the next person’s coffee. he stared at my blankly. did i have a friend coming?

“no, i don’t have a friend coming. it is a surprise. i’d like to pay for the coffee of whoever comes in next. and don’t tell them it is me. just tell them a stranger paid for their coffee,” i explained.

they were floored. they had never heard of such a thing! the barista asked, “is this common in your culture?“

“it is called an act of kindness. it should be more common in my culture. sometimes people do it at drive thru coffee shops,” i laughed to myself.

i sat down with my book and my almond milk latte and i watched it all play out in thai. i couldn’t understand a word but it was a beautiful scene to watch. a young couple came in and ordered their drinks. when they went to pay, smiles broke out across their faces. the barista never told them it was me.

a few minutes later, i was slipped a note that said:

she said… such a good thing. and bless you happy and good luck. thank you very much.

**********

i should not have waited 10 months to pay for someone’s cup of coffee. it totally turned my day – in fact, my week – around. not only did it allow me to honor my dear friend, but it also took me out of my own head (as you may remember from my last post, i was struggling). it made me feel like i was sending positive ripples of goodness out into the universe. and, it legitimately made me feel happier.

try an act of kindness, even the smallest one. especially if you are having a bad day. i’d love to hear about them.

and next time i go through the drive thru, i’m paying the $22.76!

*this was a particularly lovely cup of coffee that i drank in the hague, in june 2017.