our lives, in fact the whole world, is feeling particularly fragile at the moment. it feels like we have an inability to withstand any more pressure — collectively, we are thin ice. we are an expanding balloon. we are on the edge, about to crack, buckle, burst.
when i was a kid, when we unwrapped a package from the mail; invariably, i would steal the bubble wrap. i would take each bubble and pop it one by one, feeling the pressure between my pointer finger and thumb; relishing in the release. when i was feeling particularly exuberant i would place it on the floor and run across it — the cacophony of the snaps and crackles deeply satisfying. in a way, it was self-soothing, a sensory experience that was both entertaining and grounding.
these days, we are all in need of bubble wrap (an environmentally friendly version, if that could be invented along with an effective vaccine — it’s not too much to ask, is it?).
on a global scale: the pandemic. racial inequality. divisive politics. economic crisis.
on a local scale: loss in our community. educators being asked to do more than we’ve ever done before. protests in thailand. financial loss from the borders being closed to tourists.
on the personal level: challenges of international travel. not seeing friends and family for the foreseeable future. missing meeting my new siblings in person. more scans.
as we are moving into the 8th – or is it 9th? – month of the global pandemic, i can reassure everyone that while i have lost all sense of time, i continue to be safe and well in the country-sized social bubble of thailand. thailand had the first case of COVID-19 outside of china, but our numbers have stayed relatively low. even the new york times doesn’t know why. is it because thai people tend to keep their distance? or because everyone followed directions and wore masks? is it the hot weather? or DNA? or simply luck? in recent months, there have been almost no locally transmitted cases recorded. there is almost nowhere i could be right now that would be safer than here. with the borders closed, our country is literally wrapped in bubble wrap.
the benefits of living in a bubble are many. the best being, that i continue to live my life with relative normalcy. if it weren’t for the masks, physical distancing and hand washing on a day to day basis, it would be easy to forget that so much of the world is in lockdown. even with almost no COVID-19 in thailand, we are still relatively strict with the following measures:
masks: in urban areas, everyone is wearing masks. every. single. person. you cannot go into a 7-11 in the country without wearing a mask and schools have reopened requiring masks for all students and teachers. (students from ages 3 to 12 handle it in many ways better than many of the adults!) my trainer at the gym wears a mask during our sessions; however, i do not have to.
temperature checks: there are thermal scans at airports and going into school. getting on the bts skytrain, someone takes my temperature with a hand held thermometer; and one of the front desk workers takes it each time i walk into the gym. from massage parlors to the grocery store, i get my temperature taken several times a day.
physical distancing: restaurants and public transportation are set up for physical distancing; although, in practice, i wouldn’t say that is happening all that much anymore. people try to keep their distance, but it isn’t as strict as it was a few months ago.
travel: the borders are still closed to tourists, and there are very low numbers of repatriation/work visa flights. none of our new teachers with working visas could even get on a flight to thailand without a negative COVID-19 test, and they still had to do the 14 day quarantine upon arrival, which included several more tests. travel within the country is being actively encouraged, and there are significantly reduced prices at many nice hotels, resorts and air bnb’s. resorts have implemented a variety of policies from in room dining to new cleaning protocols to ensure guests feel safe and comfortable.
quickly, this has all become a part of life. but when i really let myself think about it? it feels so damn surreal.
how is it that we are living in a world where the borders of the country that i’m living are still essentially closed? that the NBA has created a social experiment at disney world? where i am living with a feeling of melancholy that is only matched by playing taylor swifts new album on repeat? where black panthers are dying of cancer at the age of 43, and the president of the united states doesn’t wear a mask during a global pandemic? where people i love will conceive babies who will be born, and grow up, and i won’t have met them?
the good news, not that there needs to be, is that a lot has happened for me in recent months while “stuck” in thailand:
- i’ve travelled all around the country during some time off this summer – beach, isaan, jungle.
- many bars and restaurants in thailand have reopened.
- my gym has reopened, and i’ve been back at personal training.
- school has opened, and we have had kids onsite as per typical — masks, physical distancing and hand washing are required!
- i’ve had another round of scans — a full battery including PET, mammogram etc — and all was clear.
- we’ve had 10 weeks of school with students in session.
- i’ve celebrated one year of being officially cancer free! i’ve also turned 38, but i’m more proud of the first one.
i check my privilege and remind myself that i am writing this from a villa overlooking the ocean, on an island off the coast of phuket, at the start of our october break. the sun is shining, the water is calm, and i can hear the long tail boats in the distance. i’ve got working wifi, a healthy body, a stack of books, work that is purposeful, and lots of love in my life. i feel safe and grateful in this country-sized bubble.
but here’s the thing with bubbles. they are fragile. and they don’t stay intact forever. eventually, inevitably, they pop.
*note: while thailand has been in the news this week with the protests, know that i am very secluded on the island of koh yao yai for the coming days. thank you for keeping the country in your thoughts. the photo above was taken on the very rickety walkways up wat phu tok, a temple and mountain i visited this summer in isaan, northeast thailand. july 2020.
