Sometimes terrible circumstances make it impossible to be happy, but its almost always possible to be happier.
let’s be real. the holidays are genuinely terrible for a large number of people. all this talk of joy, merriment, and cheer makes a person want to jingle all the way… away, FAR AWAY… to a private island to be alone, or to a huge bed, where one can sleep until january.
for those who are reeling in grief, suffering from loss, struggling with illness or loneliness, the holidays are a reminder of all that is lost, and all that might have been. when getting through the day is already impossibly hard, the holidays are filled with emotional triggers, challenging social engagements and huge gaping holes at the dining room table.
i started to feel the foreboding feeling towards the end of november. i knew that my parents were going to want to write their annual christmas letter (which i was dreading), and then we got word that my dad’s lung surgery was going to be just a few days before christmas (which meant he would probably be in the hospital on christmas day). i wanted to skip christmas entirely. how do we wish for peace on earth when all i want is peace in my own body? how do we celebrate and pretend everything is okay when nothing is okay? how do i navigate the holidays when the season i would prefer to ignore is so important to my family?